Kick-Ass : Revenge of MF
by resifan009
Summary: Kick-ass thought he'd killed the mother fucker. How wrong he was. Without Hit Girl by his side, Kick-ass is in more peril than before.
1. Chapter 1

**This is basically going to feature more swearing and graphic scenes than the movies. It follows the movies storyline but I may get some other elements from the comics and drop them in from time to time. Don't forget to review!**

**Kick-Ass: Revenge of MF**

"For fuck sake, won't you just die already you little prick!" a foot is jammed into the side of the fallen superhero on the floor. The place was pitch black bare a light hanging by a metal chain directly above, men in suits standing around to form a circle. The hero screamed out in pain as he felt his stomach bruise and his ribs crack. "This'll teach you to be messin' with our shit," the man above smirks as he reveals a knife. Still trying to breathe from the last attack, the hero attempts to crawl away at a snails pace.

"Look! He's trying to get away boss! You better be like the flash and get 'em!" one of the henchmen chuckles. Suddenly, a crashing noise emanates from the window. A young girl dressed in a purple get up rolls through the broken glass.

"What up assholes?" she grins before pulling out two pistols and taking out two guys to each side.

"What the fuck?" one blurts out as he pulls out a gun and starts shooting in her general direction. The girl moves with grace. A backflip to dodge one set of bullets and then taking that guy out with a headshot. Then side step and shoot one in the knee. She sprints near the hero in pain and kicks the guy she shot in the knee.

"One to go," she says as the last guy holds his gun, shaking in his hands. "Scared? You ought to be," she sends a bullet for a trip to his skull.

"Uhhhhhh," The girl walks over to him and stands over his fractured body. "Dave for fuck sake. You fight like a blind bitch. Get your head out of your fat ass and actually try not to get yourself killed. Please? It's a real pain having to come save you every time," the girl says. "Now wake up,"

"Uhhhh?"

"I said wake up dickhead,"

"M-Mi….ndy?"

* * *

Dave wakes up to a new life. One when he's alone…..very alone. His Mum dead. His Dad dead after pretending he's Kick-ass to save his son. Mindy's run off. He rolls onto his side and comes face to face with his fuck buddy…the one and only Night Bitch.

"Morning," she purrs as she gently rubs her eyes. "Last night was the best Dave. You really do Kick-Ass," she laughs. Dave grins back.

"And you really are a Night Bitch," he replies.

"Are you serious?!" she shouts back. Dave's eyes open wide. _Shit. Did I just say that? Bullocks. _

"N-No? Um…..what I meant was-"

"-oh fuck you! You calling me a prostitute? What a cocksucker!" she grabs top of shoves it on. "And Dave, try lasting more than 30 seconds with the next girl. It's kind of embarrassing," she pulls her jeans on and storms out. A few moments later the door slams. _What am I gonna do with myself? _Dave lies in bed for a while, a long long while before forcing himself to eat. It had only been a week since everything went to hell. For some reason, he'd been dreaming about Mindy more than anything. He'd been hurt by his fathers death…but Mindy leaving really struck a nerve. Dave pours a load of milk into cereal box and grabs a spoon and heads into the living room and sits on the couch. He turns the tv on and the news is still blaring about new superheroes rising in the country. Thanks to Kick-Ass. An interview with some whacky guy in his costume from last night comes up.

**"So obviously you're a superhero. With that, what's your name?" the reporter asks. The man in ripped jeans and a t-shirt with the flash on it. **

**"Quinco," he answers. "Quinco the great!" he smashes his fist in the air. The reporter looks a bit uncomfortable. **

**"W-well um Quinco….what brings you to the streets?" **

**"I 'eard some Mother fucker guy was about and he was sturrin' up some serious trouble for the community, so I grabbed my stuff and 'ere I am!" he puts his hands on his hips and looks into the camera. "We'll get 'em kids, don't worry," he winks. **

Luckily, the mother fuckers dead. His own sharks feasted on him. Dave had done it himself. He dropped him into the tank and the mother fucker was no more. Poor bastard.

* * *

Elsewhere…..

"Uhhhh….." Chris moans. His vision of the room is blurry. He feels his body ache. He's connected to a lot of machinery. But, he's very much ALIVE.


	2. Chapter 2

**Kick -Ass : Revenge of MF**

**Chapter 2**

"Get up ass wipe," came a young girls voice. "For fuck sake Dave, get up or I'll impale you with my knife," Dave's eyes opened to a blinding white light. He saw Mindy leaning over him. "Finally," Dave felt a chill shiver down his spine. He realises he's in bed.

"Shit! Mindy?! What are you doing in here?!" Dave lunges himself out of bed and looks away from her.

"Calm down Dave, this isn't real. If it was, you wouldn't be able to do this…" she smirks as she climbs on top of him.

"What the fuck? Mindy?!" he resists. She leans over him, making herself look bigger in comparison.

"What Dave? Your first time at the rodeo?"

"No. I'm damn sure it's yours though," he tries to get her off. Mindy grabs his hands and forces them down to the bed, and grips them there.

"Dave, don't be a little bitch. I mean, are you sure your not gay like those rumours you made up just to get lucky with that whore?"

"I'm not gay. Her name was Katie by the way," he struggles further.

"Dave. Dave!" Mindy shoves her head directly in front of his, her blue eyes staring into his. "This isn't real….this is a dream….remember," she almost whispers the last part.

"Ah….right….."

"Just when it was getting good," Dave wakes up to another gloomy day. Get up. Eat. Watch TV. Eat more. Go to bed. It was all becoming repetitive. Dave looks over to his computer and remembers the times he'd sit there, chatting away to people on forums about superhero stuff. All because **he **was Kick-Ass. That was when his life had purpose. What did his life mean now?

"I am Kick-Ass," Dave murmurs. "I AM Kick-Ass," he sits up in his bed. "I AM KICK-ASS!" his fist pounds in the air.

Hit Girl walks over to her motorcycle with a smug look across her face. _They fought like the fucking tweenies' …..on a bad day._ A splash of blood had stained her purple cape from that whiny bunch. She gets a detonating stick out of her pocket.

"Peace out motherfuckers," she shrieks as she presses the large red button. The warehouse explodes with rumble and timber collapsing in a glory of orange and red. "Ah….what a beautiful morning," Hit Girl chimes as she admires her work before putting her helmet on and rides off into the sunrise.

Kick Ass is back! I'm ready to serve YOU!

The return message was short and sweet, but Dave hoped it would get hyped up by other superheroes out and about. He sat in his chair yawning away waiting for a response. Within the first five minutes a message had appeared from an anonymous user. Dave opens it and reads through it.

Help! My cats been stuck up a tree for an hour! Help me Kick-Ass! Your my only hope!

- Anonymous

"Hmph," Dave pulls his mask on. Kick-Ass is back. The phone rings just before he's about to leave, a withheld number.

"Um…..hello?" Dave answers. He hears a cackling laugh followed by a vicious cough.

"Hello Kick-Ass," a hoarse voice replies. "Nice day….isn't it?"

"….Yeah suppose,"

"A good day to kill….hmph?"

"Well….no…not really….it's a bit too warm," the laughing returns followed by a louder cough.

"Let me tell you who I plan to kill,"

"Ok,"

"Your little bitch friend,"

"Mindy?" the other end of the call goes quiet.

"Um…..no…. Shit. We've got the wrong girl morons!" Dave assumes their talking to someone else.

"We have Katie,"

"Katie?"

"Yeah, Katie…..you scared? You angry?" the laugh reaches new heights this time. So does the cough.

"Were are you! Don't hurt her!"

"Haha! We've got you! Meet us at the warehouse at St Johns road, but Kick-Ass….come alone,"


End file.
